I am self-employed. Like many self-employed people, I have a couple part-time jobs to keep things flowing when I’m not writing or painting. Today is one of those wonderful days when no other jobs or responsibilities are pulling at me. My schedule is blessedly free.
I have been looking forward to a day like this so that I can get caught up—on revising my book, painting a new painting, making some necessary phone calls, etc. There’s quite a list. And yet I find myself completely uninspired.
I finally took myself outside to the deck for a couple minutes. I journaled about how I was feeling. Do I analyze my resistance? Push through it? Or do I honor it?
My energy was so low that I decided to simply honor this resistance and not do anything at all.
What a concept! How often do we, in this often very frenzied culture, allow ourselves to do nothing?
I sat in a deck chair, resting my feet on a rail, one foot propped on another. And I didn’t do anything.
I did casually notice the lovely trees surrounding me. I noticed the blue sky and the warm sun. I was aware of the sound of the stream softly flowing about a hundred yards away. But other than that, I did nothing. I was in a total yin place. My yang had gone on vacation.
It was blissful.
I used to live about an hour and a half away from the shore. Like many of my friends and neighbors, I would visit the shore a couple times a year. There is absolutely nothing so relaxing as lying on a large towel on the beach, the sun shining down upon you, and the sounds of the surf rocking you to sleep.
Well, now I live a little over a thousand miles away from the nearest shore. It’s not quite so easy to just jump in a car and get to the nearest sea. But I discovered today that sitting out on the deck is actually pretty darn nice.
I can wear whatever I want (or don’t want, as the case may be), have a glass of whatever I want by my side, and let the rays of the sun caress my body. Then, if I get too hot, I can simply move into the shade.
Suffice it to say, “doing nothing” necessitates me leaving the cell phone inside. Far away.
This is what our dogs and cats do all the time. Not to mention lizards, snakes, lions, and other animals. Why do we humans feel we don’t deserve the same consideration? Why do we only let ourselves do this relaxing thing if we’re on vacation or retired or at the end of a very busy day? (And many of us have trouble doing it even then!)
I suspect I sat outside for only about half an hour. But it restored and revived me. (Look! I found the inspiration to write!)
One night, about fifteen years ago, I had an incredible dream. In this dream my body was guided to wherever it needed to go and whatever it needed to do. I didn’t have to consciously make decisions, I had only to wait until the guidance kicked in.
It was an exquisite dream. When I was coming to wakefulness I found myself worrying that I’d never be able to sustain that sweet feeling. But it turned out, for at least that one morning, I could. I simply allowed myself to do or not do whatever my body did or did not want to do. And it was a delicious feeling.
Of course I know that many of us do not have this luxury much of the time. But the truth is we could allow ourselves the luxury of doing nothing more often if we chose. We don’t have to make ourselves a slave to “getting things done” all the time, every hour of the day. We could allow ourselves more time on the deck, the sofa, a hammock, or the bed if we chose.
And if our current lifestyle and schedule do not allow for this kind of relaxation, might it not be time for a little restructuring?
Blessed be, everyone. Enjoy some totally non-productive time today “just being.” You are enough.